It can be tempting to avoid small talk with colleagues, clients, employers, and employees and instead cut to the chase. Yet studies have shown that small talk is often the catalyst for success. In a piece published in Forbes, author Brett Nelson wrote, “small talk is where it all begins – and if you want to get somewhere, it helps, we’re told, to start at the beginning.”
Face-to-face interactions are the most conducive for small talk, as eye contact, body language, and inflection can show that you are interested in what the other party has to say and also promotes a real, human connection. If face-to-face is out of the question, the art of small talk can be used over the phone or in an e-mail. You’ll notice that you build relationships and loyalty, instill trust, strengthen your networking abilities, and make others feel comfortable with you. This is especially important when conducting international business. Remembering to ask about someone’s children or bring up non-work related topics, makes the other person feel as if they are important, while skipping small talk makes it appear that you don’t consider them to be worth your time.
Small talk can lead to something more significant. Chatting by the water cooler, engaging potential clients with a few anecdotes, asking others questions, and simply enjoying a conversation may spark an idea, allow you to glean contextual information that one wouldn’t typically share, and build rapport with decision makers. Small talk is also a gesture of respect. When others feel unimportant they’re not likely to continue working with you. Nelson also stated that small talk forces you to be present and is a way to put down your gadgets, like your cell phone or laptop, in order to really listen.
Another benefit of engaging in small talk is boosting your brain power. Face-to-face and phone conversations are unpredictable and your brain must work swiftly on the spot, This keeps you on top of your communication game. A study conducted at the University of Michigan found that engaging in 10 minutes of small talk improved executive function, which includes, “working memory, self-monitoring, and the ability to suppress external and internal distractions – all of which are essential in solving common life problems.” The participants in the small talk group performed better on cognitive tasks than the participants who got right to the point.
While using a little humor and personalizing conversations to each recipient through e-mail, social media, and other technology-based modes of communications can increase your chances of success, face-to-face offers a unique glimpse into the motivations of others and allows you to read people more effectively. The next time you give a presentation, go on a sales call, or even take a quick break at the office, initiate a short chat with someone to increase your focus and build strong connections.
bxljenny
December 12, 2012
Your post reminds me of myself when I landed in Canada as an expat… I was always wondering how so many people could just chat when there was so much work to do. Well, nowadays I am much wiser and appreciate all the little moments and talks… because you’re right: it motivates, people feel that you are interested in them as a person and it might help you in multiple ways! Jenny
ireconnect
December 17, 2012
Thanks for reading Jenny. Engaging in small talk is such an important way to break the ice. I think most of us would feel the same as an expat in Canada. It takes some getting used to, but you’re right we all get wiser as time goes on.
Merry Sleepwalkers
December 13, 2012
You are right! In this world that is increasing facts only, the ability to connect as a human being is becoming a bigger and bigger competitive advantage. We all prefer to do business with people we like, small talk offers tangible tactical benefits for every business person!
ireconnect
December 17, 2012
I completely agree. A human connection is much more conducive to success. Thanks for reading!